it’s all better now
wait for me
Wait For Me
This song is pretty friggin’ aweeesome.
Woke Up This Morning (The Sopranos Theme) - Alabama 3
-R.I.P. James Gandolfini-
…Woke up this morning
Got yourself a gun,
Mama always said you’d be
The Chosen One.
She said: You’re one in a million
You’ve got to burn to shine,
But you were
Born under a bad sign,
With a blue moon in your eyes.
Woke up this morning
All that love had gone,
Papa never told you
About right and wrong.
You’re looking good, baby,
I believe you’re feeling fine,(shame about it),
Born under a bad sign
With a blue moon in your eyes…
Newest song I recorded, Cherub in the Sky, of course it will be on www.catzito.com soooon.
Last year I had the realization that I did some pot and codeine cough syrup and opium tea in the first year or two after I quit drinking so I don’t know my full on sobriety date, like the last day I did ANYTHING. Sometime about 12 years ago. But today is 14 years off booze. Some folks would tell me I have to change my “date” but alcohol was killing me most & making me want to kill myself so I still celebrate.
Off the sauce. Yup. 14 years off the sauce.
I guess I never thought about the stopping dates for the other stuffs because not doing them wasn’t a battle like quitting drinking. When I thought about it last year I talked to a bunch of people about it and processed it a bunch but I didn’t say anything online. Either way, 12 or so years off all the other stuff is a pretty big deal too. And I am 6 months and 4 days back off the wheat and sugar. I eat fruit but I don’t eat maple or honey or molasses or processed sugars or agave or anything like that. That shit is crack to me.
I stopped everything else when I realized that the problem was in the fact that I was using them to escape even if I wasn’t hooked on them. What has helped me become better, above all else, was stopping hiding and facing it all the good, the bad, the insecurities, the ghosts and feeling it all.
Living through it all. Being in it all. Talking it out. Writing it down. Singing it.
I am a big old imperfect quitter and I am doing great. This incredible life that I am fully experiencing day by day is the real cause for celebration. A date is a date is a date. Today is a landmark but the real achievement is in how fucking awesome I feel.
Thanks for loving me and letting me love you. Your support and friendship through all my stuff, good and bad, means tons. xoxo
Kim-Hee-Kyoung aka Kim Hee Kyoung (South Korea) - Swamp, 2008